Paper Critique - Colin Conner

I cirtiqued Giovanni's paper. While reading the paper I saw that it was a little difficult to read because it kind of just jumped from paragraph to paragraph with out any transition. So I pointed out where a transition was needed. Then I saw that it was a little bit short for a short story, but that was expected with a draft, so I pointed out a few areas where he could have elaborated on the story in a way to lengthen the paper along with strengthening his argument. My only other comment was that his argument was good, but could be strengthen and I said he could do that just by elaborating on the details. It was well on its way to being a good short story.