Jim Abbott
Seminar in Composition
Dr. Adam Johns
Hiding in Technology
“Honey did you finish your essay for your college applications yet?”
“Yeah I’m almost done Mom.” Replied Louie, while perusing FaceBook for the fifth time today.
The truth was that Louie had hardly begun his college applications. He wanted to but he could not motivate himself enough to sit down and contemplate where he wanted to spend his next four plus years. Acceptance for the schools was not the hard party, intelligence was never his problem, with a 1340 on his SAT’s, he should be able to get into any of the colleges he wanted to apply to. It was fear that was preventing him from starting the applications.
Louie picked up his phone and text messaged his friend Mark to see if he wanted to come over and play Madden 2009 on his brand new Playstation 3. It was a beautiful day outside, but virtual sports sounded more appealing than actual sports to Louie. He could play as a Professional athlete on his Playstation, rather than settle for the mediocre athlete who recently got cut from his basketball team in real life.
When Mark arrived, the two went immediately up stairs to marvel at the breathtaking graphics of the video game on a High Definition television. The two had been friends since elementary school, and were soon to be going to different schools for the first time in thirteen years.
“Man, this is the best set up I’ve ever seen. If I had this in my room I would never leave. There would be no point to leave.” Said Mark.
“Yeah, its pretty awesome, I can play for hours on end without getting bored, it’s relaxing. It really puts a damper on my homework though,” replied Louie.
The two focused all of their attention on the videogame, and never once brought up the topic of college. They both knew that they did not have any similar colleges in their list of potential schools, and were well aware of the fact that for the first time in their lives they would not be able to hang out whenever they so desired. There would be pressure on them to leave the comforts of their olds lives, and embrace a new life with completely new people. This was not a topic they wanted to talk about however, they would much rather pretend as if it was not happening, and enjoy the videogame for what it was worth. The time would come when they would have to go in their separate ways. Right now though, winning this animated football game was their biggest concern. This was a time where they could put all of the problems and pressures of being a college applicant on the back burner, and pretend to be a professional football player. This game provided a sense of relief from the outside world, and an escape from future problems.
“I’m going to destroy you in this game, just for the record,” joked Mark.
“I don’t see it that way,” replied Louie. “I think I should have this game well in hand by halftime.”
And so the trash talk began. Mark and Louie became encapsulated in video pixels and hand held controllers. The next two hours would be a blur as they competed ferociously in a game that had no spectators and no awards. The winner would soon be forgotten, and the loser would be left upset and disgruntled. Tomorrow the game would be a distant memory, but at the time, the game was the most important thing in the world, more important than schoolwork and obligations combined.
After the game Mark went home, most likely to play against the computer so that he could soon avenge his loss to Louie.
At dinner, Louie was exceptionally quiet, as he spent more time checking his phone for text messages than he did eating his food. His mom did her best to engage him in conversation, but it was futile.
She had other things on her mind as well, and was dying to get on the computer to see if the man she had met on “eHarmony” had e-mailed her back yet. She was tired of the single life, and desperately wanted to go out on a date. She was nervous though, it had been so long since her last date that she was not sure how to act. There were a few men that she knew who were single, but she lacked the courage to ask them out face to face. If they turned her down, she would be an emotional wreck. She could not possibly handle the embarrassment of watching a man pass on her offer or frantically make up an excuse to get out of it.
“Did you start to narrow down the list of what colleges you want to visit?” she asked.
“No, I took the virtual tour, I think I’ve seen all I need to see,” said Louie sarcastically.
The truth was that he was scared to check out the colleges, it meant that the realities of going away to school were becoming incredibly close. He would soon have to give up his own private sanctuary that was his room, and share a much smaller room with a complete stranger. His small group of close friends that he hung out with since elementary school would no longer be around, and it would be completely up to him to make new friends. He was a not a very outgoing person, and he had become even more reclusive since he stopped playing basketball. Ever since being cut he lost his confidence, and didn’t feel comfortable around others the way he used to. He knew going away to school would be challenging. Just the thought of it made him nervous, and he immediately grabbed his phone to send an innocuous text message to his friend, to take his mind off of college. This was his way of handling the stress.
“Honey, we really need to start checking out some of these schools, the earlier you get your applications in the better, now I was thinking that maybe we could go this weekend, preferably Saturday.”
“Saturday? Oh can we not do Saturday? I really want to watch this basketball game on TV, it’s going to be the game of the year.” Pleaded Louie
“Fine Louie, we’ll put off another college visit off for another weekend because you need to watch some stupid game on TV. Hey, its your life, if you want to go to a college without checking it out I’m not going to stop you.”
The guilt trip did not work on Louie, as he was eager to spend another weekend in the comforts of his own home. His mom had no idea of the real reasons why he was so stubborn against her efforts of the college search. He never told her that he was nervous, and that he was not sure that the colleges he was applying to were right for him.
Louie ended their conversation by excusing himself from the dinner table, and taking his dish over to the sink. His mom still had half of her meal left, but he knew where this conversation was heading, and he did not want any part of it. He left the kitchen before his mom could ask what was really bothering him? And why he refused to spend one day away from home to tour a college?
She did not understand the problems her son was facing, because he never opened up to her. She would have loved to know what was going on in her son’s mind, but she never was able to reach him. He was always too busy on the phone, on the computer, or on the television. She would pry occasionally, but this would only lead to a further disconnect. Once she even grounded him, and took away his TV, computer, and video game counsel. She thought it would help, force him to entertain himself is more productive ways, but it was ineffective. He became even more shut in, and was incredibly irritable. The two days had felt like an eternity, and she was finally relieved to give back his precious appliances, so that her life could go back to normal.
Later that night, Louie had to write a paper for his English class that was due the next day. Of course, he had waited until the night before to start it. Even with the paper being due within a matter of hours, Louie still found time to procrastinate. Rather than work on his introduction paragraph, he scoured the Internet watching youtube videos, and checking out his friends’ pictures on FaceBook. Despite having a clear sense of what he was going to write, he was unable to start his paper for a solid 45 minutes. His word document was left blank, with only a header, as Louie wasted his time on the wonderful World Wide Web. He looked over his old papers that were saved on his computer to see if he could refresh his mind on how to write a quality paper. As he read his old essays that received very high marks, he stopped searching for ways to improve his writing style, and instead began looking for parts that would fit in his current essay. He pieced together an introductory paragraph that was composed of three of his former essays, only changing minor words to match the new topic.
The paper eventually got done at the time of one-thirty AM, over four and a half hours after he sat down to write the paper that was no longer than two and a third pages. Louie went to bed with the satisfaction of finishing the paper, even though he knew it was not his best work. He was a far more capable write than what he showed in that paper.
The next morning Louie had an awful time getting out of bed in time for school. The morning came far too fast in his opinion, and he hit the “snooze” button three times before he finally got out from under the covers. Once he did, he had a shocking revelation that he forgot something. He had a calculus take home test that was due second period, and he did not start it yet. He promised himself that he would not only do the test this weekend, but learn the concepts in the chapter as well, but he continued to put it off. He took the course with the intentions of getting college credit for it, but with the exam lurking, he was having serious doubts. The class seemed to be moving faster and faster, and he kept falling behind. This weekend was supposed to be when he caught up in the class, but instead he procrastinated to the point that he forgot to do it.
“You sure you don’t want any break fast?” his mom asked. “You’re going to be starving all day.”
“No, I’m fine, trust me, I really need to get to school though, I don’t have time,” said Louie hurriedly,
Once in school, Louie rapidly searched the hallways looking for someone in his calculus class that could give him the answers to the homework. After 15 minutes of searching, he finally found Julie, who reluctantly let him borrow his homework after he pleaded with her that this would be the last time he would ask for help.
Louie scribbled down the answers, failing to comprehend any of the questions that were on the sheet. He was gradually slipping in that class and he knew it. At some point he would have to go back to the book and catch up, and he promised himself that he would look over the test later to make sure he understood the concepts.
After his second period calculus class however, the test was a distant memory, and he stopped worrying about falling behind. He got the answers right on the test, and that was all that mattered.
Later in school that day, Louie was struggling to stay awake during his economics class. He was running on five hours of sleep and no breakfast, and it was beginning to catch up to him. Rather than fall asleep on his desk, he chose to text his friend three rows over. Class was over before he knew it, and he retained absolutely nothing from it.
School was over for the day, and Louie managed to survive it. He needed sleep, and could not wait to go home and relax. His friends were going to play pick-up basketball over at the park, but he turned down the invitation. Ever since being cut from his High School team, he had lost the love for the game. He used to love playing, but the embarrassment from not making the Varsity team after playing two years on Junior Varsity, made him want to forget about playing basketball. His friends never realized how much it was hurting him they just assumed that he was bored with the game. Every time they asked him to play, Louie made it sound like he had better things to do, and that he did not want to waste his time. The truth was that playing in recreational games made him want to play on the High School team even more. Ever since being cut, Louie had hardly played.
It was pitiful to think that he would rather spend his afternoon secluded from his friends, but the temptation of the couch and TV was too much to pass up. His life was becoming painfully repetitive in a cycle that he was not fond of. Staying up late for no real reason, going through the school day unenthused and fatigued, and heading back to his house where he took comfort in letting the TV wash over him.
“How was school?” his mom asked from the kitchen.
“Ugh, it was alright I guess, kind of boring.” Replied Louie, trying to keep the conversation to a minimum as he made his way upstairs to his room.
His mom wanted to know more about her son’s day, but she knew there was no point in intruding. She had her own concerns as well, as she had finally arranged a date. Her tedious work on her online dating website had paid off, and a time and place had been arranged. She knew nothing about the guy, but this was no matter to her. She felt more comfortable meeting a complete stranger for drinks than she did asking out a man who she knew well and whose presence she enjoyed. It was her first date since her husband left, and the stress of potentially being single the rest of her life was wearing her out. It was more an act of desperation than anything. She was aware of how strange it was that she used the Internet as a means to meet men, when there were a few single men that she knew personally. The Internet provided her with anonymity though, which gave her confidence, something she normally had little of. If the guy turned her down on the Internet, so what? At least it was not in person. She would just delete him, and move on to the next guy.
Upstairs, Louie made his way to his room. His mom, even if she wanted to, could not interrupt him when he was watching TV, or on the computer. His mind was focused on the screens in front of him, not on her. She had tried before, but to no avail. He simply kept his answers short, and prevented the conversation from lasting long. He never elaborated on anything that happened to him during the day. He just stated the facts, and that was that. She lacked the energy to compete for his attention, so she let him go.
Upstairs, Louie turned on the television to ESPN, and watched the sports highlights that he had watched twice the night before. He didn’t care that he had seen them earlier they were still enjoyable to him. Watching the basketball highlights reminded him of the better times in his life. When he was apart of a team, with teammates that were as close to him as brothers. He missed those days, he thought about them as he watched a replay of the Lakers vs. Cavaliers game the night before.
Louie lasted about forty-five minutes before he fell asleep. Over at the park, his dearest friends were outside playing basketball. He would soon be away from his friends, and into a new life at a new school. He could not hang out with them today, much like he couldn’t last week because the temptation to lie on the couch and watch TV was too great. He was perpetually tired, and it was preventing him from spending time with his friends, even though they would soon be going in different directions.
Louie awoke from his nap with a feeling of emptiness. He felt groggy, and was upset that once again he chose to be alone rather than be with his friends. He was going to miss those guys a lot he realized, and that reminded him about his college applications. He tried to motivate himself to get started on them, but could not bring himself to do it. He signed on to his instant messager, and chatted with his buddy for fifteen minutes. The common application for his list of schools was opened in another window, but he never made his way over to it.
His mom called up for dinner, and Louie reluctantly signed off and made his way down stairs. Another wasted day in the college search, he promised himself that he would work on them after dinner, but he knew this wasn’t true. “The Office” was on at 9 o’clock, and he would most likely keep the TV on far after the show was over. That’s how it was every Monday for him.
He wished college wasn’t approaching as fast as it was. Everyday he became more stressed out, and every day he fell farther and farther behind in the application process. The applications were starting to control his life, even though he hadn’t even begun them.
After dinner, Louie retreated back to his fort that is his room. His mom let him go, naively believing that he was almost finished with his applications and on top of his school work. She didn’t know what was really going on with her son, and he refused to open up to her.
Louie flipped on the TV, and rested his head on his pillow. When his favorite shows were on he forgot about the problems he had earlier in the day. He forgot about the stress of applying to colleges, and he forgot about the inevitability of leaving the comfort level of his hometown.
Louie pushed his book bag behind the table in his room. Inside of it was his Calculus notes and book, which he took home with the intention to study. They were out of site now, and so it was easy for Louie to forget about them. He was getting comfortable on the couch, and another nap seemed inevitable. He fixed his eyes on the television with the intention to stay awake, but he was running on very little sleep from the night before. It was only 6:30 pm, but it felt like midnight for Louie, who undoubtedly was headed for a mid day nap that would mess up his sleeping habits for another day. The book bag stay closed, and the Calculus book remained un-open for another day. His Economics notebook rested against the Calculus book, with no intentions of moving. Louie was falling into the peaceful state before a nap, where the noise from the television meshed in with his dream. His schoolwork lied perfectly still, while he too lied still.
He woke up two hours later, but never fully recovered from the nap. He was in a constant haze, and lacked the motivation to accomplish anything productive. He thought about attempting some practice Calculus problems, but that thought was quickly erased from his mind. He was not mentally sharp enough to focus on equations since he was still reeling from a counterproductive nap.
And so it began, the beginning of the cycle that was Louie’s life. He would stay up late again tonight, occupying his time with the nonsense that was primetime TV. After the shows, he would turn on his Playstation 3, and play a couple of games of his brand new video game. When this would begin to bore him, he would head to the computer with the intentions of getting some work down, but he knew this was a lie. He would let the Internet take him, and he would mindless surf the profile pages of his friends and classmates on FaceBook. He would get to bed late again, and he knew it. Even when he tried to go to bed earlier, he couldn’t do, he would just lay down and look at the ceiling. So the cycle continued, and Louie could not break it. He would wake up late, go to school tired, and just barely get through his classes. His schoolwork was slipping, and he was growing gradually disinterested in all of his classes.
The deadline for college applications was rapidly approaching, and his essays were still unwritten. He still needed two letters of recommendations from his teachers, but he was having a tough time thinking of a teacher who would want to vouch for him. His teachers this year viewed him as lazy, and quiet in class. His old teachers liked him, but Louie did not have the courage to ask them for a favor yet.
In the next room, his mom signed on the computer and checked her email for the third time that day. She scanned her inbox unassumingly, until she saw another email from the man she was supposed to meet for a date. He had cancelled at the last minute for what he described as “work emergency.” She wanted to believe the excuse, but she could not. She knew that he had cold feet about the date, and the “work emergency” was just a lie that he used to get off the hook without hurting her or confronting her. She was crushed.
Louie and his mom sat twenty feet apart divided only by a wall that separated their rooms. Inside, each of them was on their computers attempting to take their minds off their problems. Louie was procrastinating his homework and college applications, while his mom searched an online dating website in hopes for finding a man who would not turn her down. Neither one of them knew of the others problems, and neither one of them wanted to discuss their problems. They both just scanned the screen aimlessly and kept to themselves. Soon the morning would come, and a new day would begin. They would have a meaningless talk at breakfast, and go on their separate ways for the day. In the evening they would reunite, but their problems would still be existent. Their problems would lead his mom to the Internet, and Louie to the television and computer. Only there could they escape from their problems.
Works Cited
1.) Lavoie, Jennifer A. "Cyberslacking and the Procrastination Superhighway."
Sage Journals Online 19.4. 22 Nov. 2008
content/abstract/19/4/431>.
2.) McKibben, Bill. Enough. New York, New York: Owl Books, 2003.
I did not cite in my short story because I did not want to mess up the flow of the story, and because my research was not like normal research, which took quotes to straight facts. The website I used (#1) had a survey in which they measured the amount of time teenagers spent procrastinating. 50.7% of the applicants in the survey reported frequent Internet procrastination. Of those who procrastinated on the Internet, and it was estimated that 47% of the time spent on the Internet was used for procrastination. Also, I cited Mckibben because I used his concept that he mentions in “Enough”, where he talks about the feeling that is experienced after watching a night of Primetime Television. Mckibben describes the feeling as a feeling of wishing that you had done something else for that night. This feeling of emptiness after extended uses of the television or Internet is the type of emptiness that is embodied in the main character Louie.
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