On page 94 of Enough, McKibben briefly refers to an essay collection by Wendell Berry, entitled What Are People For? This idea, or question, is much like the cliched question "what is the meaning of life?" I would argue that Berry formulates it this way, and McKibben references this version, to put the focus squarely on human life. Rather than asking (perhaps selfishly or short-sightedly) what the meaning of our individual lives and rather than asking in some abstract way what some kind of generic life (human? animal? post-human? pre-human?) is for, McKibben and Berry are focused on the meaning of human life life. The question is more abstract than asking "what is the meaning of my life?" and more focused than asking "what is the meaning of life?"
For this assignment, you want to formulate some kind of answer to the question "What are people for?" While the essay can be personal, you should make use of McKibben and at least one other author we've read this semester. This would be a good opportunity to bring in outside sources, if you wish. Remember, though, that this isn't strictly personal; you are trying to convince us that your understanding of what people are for is correct, or at least valuable.
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I’ll begin by saying that this paper was very good in my opinion. There is a lot to your general thesis and support that can be liked in this paper, but I feel like you could make the paper ten times better with a few rather simple changes. First, keep in mind that this is a personalized paper. You should personalize it, by doing something along the lines of bringing in your own situations, or even your own beliefs. It’s important to understand that this is not your typical Composition paper; Professor Johns asks specifically to make it personal.
One of the biggest problems with this paper is the organization. It seems as though you had so many thoughts that you were having trouble finding how to organize it on the paper. My first suggestion would be to sit down and think about how you can tie McKibben, House of the Seven Gables, your other various sources (Tuesdays with Morrie), and create a general theme that encompasses each and every one of them. This way, you can go paragraph by paragraph, and mention all of your sources with respect to the topic at hand in the particular paragraph. The other option here is to broaden your thesis, mention all your sources in the introduction, and then use each source in their own paragraphs. The way it is, right now, paragraphs seem sort of irrelevant. There isn’t any reason in your current paper to have any breaks in paragraphs at all.
Another problem I had with the paper comes in your last body paragraph. Assuming you attempt to fix the last point I made, this won’t be AS big of a problem, but it is simply too long. The points you listed were excellent, but there is just too much going on here. Having a paragraph that long is just a nuisance to stare at. There is a lot of extraneous information here, and you could easily cut out several sentences.
My last suggestion would be to use your outside sources a little more. I know it’s tough, but there are a lot of generalizations made about all the other sources. If at all possible, try and find a passage to do the speaking for you, instead of telling the audience how it is.
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