Father Can You Hear Me?

Giovanni Serrapere
Dr. Adam Johns
ENGCMP 0200- Seminar in Composition
21 October 2008
Father Can You Hear Me?

Today I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that said my generation; the Millennial Generation has a sense of “entitlement”. “The millennials were lavishly praised and often received trophies when they excelled, and sometimes when they didn’t, to avoid damaging their self-esteem.”(D4 Alsop) This is a far cry from the type of parenting that Jimmy’s grandfather received while growing up. As a child Jimmy’s grandfather was put under a lot of emotional stress because of his authoritarian father. Jimmy Corrigan shows us that we should be mindful of the way we communicate with our children because Jimmy’s Grandfather’s turmoil as a child, his loneliness, and Jimmy’s reliance on his mother.
Jimmy’s great-grandfather was a mean son of a bitch, he was so critical that when little James didn’t answer a history question right, he was sent to bed hungry. “Th-three hunthousand and s-seventy h-hundred…hundd. (Swallow) Three thousand seven hundred and forty four men were killed at the battle of Shiloh. May! You may clear Master James’ dishes—and he will not be joining me for dessert this evening.” What message does this send to Jimmy? It tells to not open his mouth unless in appeasement because he might be yelled at for not saying the right thing. Not only this, but James held in him a great resentment and hatred of his father. He fantasized about murdering him for not answering a question right. Being this critical will not be conducive to a healthy parent-child relationship. I also believe parents should actually pay attention to what little kids are saying; they should take the time to engage them. It is not good when a parent brushes off a child’s feelings as foolish, thinking you have better things to do. If it is indeed foolish then explain to them why. Jimmy cries out for help by crying at the dinner table because the bullies he is going to face. His father’s reaction is “James I don’t know what you’re doing but stop it right now... we’re eating a meal.” Although we can look back at all the trivial things we worried about as children, when we were kids to us those things were monumentally important. Jimmy is so worried about getting beat by bullies that he believes they are going to kill him. So he prepares for his death, and embraces it. The fact that this child has no one to turn to is a major reason for this.
Imagine being in Jimmy’s shoes, you have alienated all of your friends and your father hates you. You probably fell like the loneliest person in the world; in fact you are so lonely that you have to escape to your fantasy world. If Jimmy’s father conversed with Jimmy then this wouldn’t have happened to him. Children will have a different relationship with the authority figures in their lives if they are taught not to speak to adults and to stay quiet. In the book Jimmy was surprised to meet an adult who was warm to him. “Especially this boy’s father, who seemed as kindly thoughtful and gentle, In short unlike any grown-up I’d ever met before.” He was happy while he was at the Italian boy’s house because he didn’t have to be afraid of speaking. “The bemused face I was used to hiding behind every day of my life melted away.” This shows the contrast in parenting styles and their effects on children. Of course we cannot lay the blame of Jimmy’s loneliness solely on his father’s shoulders but on his absent mother’s as well. Having only one mother or only one father is hard on a kid, and it can cause some problems like we see in Jimmy.
Jimmy was raised by his mother, who was flawed at best. We see an example of this when he goes to a car show as a child, and Jimmy’s hero Superman is there. His hero ends up taking his mother out, and then screwing her. His mother is more interested in meeting guys than Jimmy’s well being; Jimmy ends up being left alone. She is selfish and only thinks about herself, she always asks him to call at a certain time, and when he doesn’t she raises hell. She was probably overprotective of him as a child and now it shows to have stifled his growth. She was frustrated because she couldn’t find a husband, so she took out her frustrations out on him, and made him into a meek shy individual. But alas, Jimmy still loves his mom unconditionally, because she is everything to him. In fact he can’t function without her, we see an example when he is in the diner and he sneaks off to go call her. He is even too afraid to tell her where he really is.
Fodder to the fact that respect and honesty are key with parents and their children are Jimmy’s Grandfather’s troubled childhood, his alienation, and Jimmy’s dysfunctional relationship with his mother. If you treat your children as equals and not as subordinates then a lot of the bullshit of childhood can be taken away. Listen to what they have to say, that way they will reciprocate. Instead of saying “Do as I say, not as I do” lead by example. Don’t just tell a child to do something tell him why so he can understand things better. We’ve seen in the book what pains children go through because of bad parenting.